Law #36: Disdain Things You Cannot Have: Ignoring Them Is the Best Revenge — A Writer's Guide

Story Marc
Feb 7
4 min read

The thirty-sixth law in The 48 Laws of Power, "Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge," is about maintaining focus and composure. For writers, this principle can be transformative in navigating envy, rejection, and distractions. By choosing to ignore what you can’t control, you can redirect your energy toward creativity and growth, building a career on your own terms.

Here’s how to apply this law to your writing journey and avoid the traps of unnecessary comparison or bitterness.

Overcoming Professional Envy

The writing world is filled with stories of rapid success, bestseller lists, and big advances. It’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing yourself to others. This law reminds you that focusing on your own path is the key to longevity and fulfillment.

1. Celebrate Other Writers’ Success:

Resentment toward successful authors only wastes energy.
Example: When authors like Colleen Hoover or Brandon Sanderson achieve incredible sales, it’s a reminder that the industry has room for big wins.
Application: Shift your mindset to view others’ success as proof that your own is possible. Celebrate them while staying focused on your unique goals.

2. Avoid Social Media Comparisons:

Highlight reels on social media can create unrealistic standards.
Example: Seeing another writer’s glamorous book launch might distract you from your steady progress.
Application: Limit your social media use or focus on platforms that inspire rather than discourage you.

3. Redefine Success on Your Terms:

Success is personal and doesn’t have to match traditional milestones.
Example: Self-published authors like Andy Weir (The Martian) found success outside traditional publishing channels.
Application: Define what success means to you—whether it’s reaching a specific audience, publishing consistently, or growing your craft.

Dealing with Rejection and Setbacks

Every writer faces rejection, whether it’s from agents, publishers, or readers. How you handle setbacks determines your resilience and growth.

1. Accept Rejection as Part of the Process:

Rejections aren’t personal; they’re opportunities to learn.
Example: J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter was rejected by multiple publishers before becoming a global phenomenon.
Application: View each rejection as a step closer to success and use constructive feedback to improve.

2. Ignore Detractors:

Not everyone will appreciate your work, and that’s okay.
Example: Controversial books like The Catcher in the Rye faced criticism but found lasting audiences.
Application: Focus on the readers who connect with your work and let negative opinions slide.

3. Channel Frustration into Creativity:

Use setbacks as fuel for your writing.
Example: Stephen King wrote Carrie after years of struggling to publish his work.
Application: Turn disappointments into motivation by pouring your energy into your next project.

Avoiding Unnecessary Distractions

Not every opportunity or trend deserves your attention. Knowing what to ignore is as important as knowing what to pursue.

1. Don’t Chase Every Trend:

Writing to follow trends can dilute your authenticity.
Example: While dystopian YA surged after The Hunger Games, many similar books failed to stand out.
Application: Write what genuinely inspires you, regardless of current market trends.

2. Say No to Overcommitment:

Spreading yourself too thin detracts from your primary goals.
Example: Successful authors often prioritize quality over quantity, even if it means turning down projects.
Application: Assess each opportunity against your long-term goals before saying yes.

3. Focus on What You Can Control:

Obsessing over uncontrollable factors, like market conditions or competition, wastes energy.
Example: Indie authors who focus on building loyal readerships thrive regardless of market volatility.
Application: Concentrate on improving your craft, marketing smartly, and connecting with your audience.

Cultivating Emotional Resilience

Learning to ignore what you can’t have isn’t just practical; it’s liberating. Emotional resilience frees you to focus on what truly matters.

1. Practice Gratitude:

Recognizing your achievements keeps you grounded.
Example: Reflecting on small wins, like finishing a draft or receiving positive feedback, fosters gratitude.
Application: Keep a journal of daily or weekly accomplishments to celebrate your progress.

2. Develop a Growth Mindset:

Viewing challenges as opportunities for growth fosters resilience.
Example: Authors who learn from criticism and rejection improve faster than those who dwell on setbacks.
Application: Embrace mistakes and setbacks as part of the journey, using them to refine your skills.

3. Seek Support from Fellow Writers:

A supportive community can provide encouragement and perspective.
Example: Writing groups and online forums are great spaces to share struggles and celebrate victories.
Application: Surround yourself with peers who inspire and uplift you.

Avoiding Pitfalls

While ignoring what you can’t have is empowering, it’s important not to dismiss opportunities or feedback that could help you grow.

Don’t Ignore Constructive Criticism:
- Useful feedback is essential for improvement.
- Solution: Learn to distinguish between helpful critiques and unwarranted negativity.
Avoid Complacency:
- Ignoring distractions shouldn’t lead to stagnation.
- Solution: Stay ambitious and proactive while maintaining focus.
Balance Detachment with Engagement:
- Ignoring too much can make you seem indifferent or unapproachable.
- Solution: Engage with your audience and peers while maintaining healthy boundaries.

Conclusion: The Power of Focus

Law #36, "Disdain things you cannot have: Ignoring them is the best revenge," teaches writers the value of focus, resilience, and self-discipline. By letting go of envy, rejection, and distractions, you free yourself to pursue your goals with clarity and purpose. Remember, success isn’t about having everything; it’s about creating meaningful work and building a career that aligns with your values.

In the next installment of this series, we’ll explore Law #37, "Create compelling spectacles," and how crafting captivating stories and personas can elevate your presence in the literary world. Stay tuned for more insights into The 48 Laws of Power for writers.